10 Utterly Irrational Worries

1. When riding an escalator, I worry that one of my fingers will caught on an unseen flap of metal and, before I can extricate myself, the digit will be ripped cruelly and painfully from my hand.
2. When crossing a busy, crowded street that forces me to pass between stopped cars, I am concerned that one of the cars will be rear-ended as I pass in before it, driving its bumper into the front car and severing my legs at the knee.
3. When eating prepared foods, I sometimes become paranoid that an error has been made in the preparation process. Instead of shitake mushrooms, for example, the cook or food-preparer accidentally used poisonous mushrooms, and I am therefore doomed to a violent and unpleasant death.
4. When cutting vegetable for dinner, I sometimes worry that the knife will slip from my grip and fall to the floor. That may not sound so bad at first, but I hold in my mind a mental image of the knife standing straight up, its point buried deeply into the top of my foot.
5. When descending the concrete stairs into the subway, or any set of concrete stairs for that matter, I worry that I will miss a step and tumble end over end to the bottom, breaking my neck in the process. Alternatively, I do not break my neck, but only my front teeth.
6. When taking an aspirin for a headache or other minor malady, I am haunted by the thought that perhaps something went wrong in the preparation of the medication and that instead of relieving me of a headache, this little white pill will throw me into a permanent coma.
7. When shaving and I accidentally nick myself, I am troubled by the thought that this tiny cut could become infected and grow into a gruesome sore, disfiguring me for life.
8. When I attempt to jaywalk across a busy street and have to run to do it, I sometimes feel a slight twinge of pain in my knees and I am filled with the fear that my knee might suddenly give out and I will collapse to the street, whereupon I will be hit by an oncoming city bus.
9. When drinking from a bottle of beer, soda, seltzer, or other such carbonated beverage, I sometimes wonder what would happen if the liquid that was about to touch my lips was replaced with battery acid.
10. When looking up at a tall building, I sometimes get the feeling that one of the glass windows will work itself loose, tumble to the ground, and behead me on the spot.